First of all, I'm very sorry I haven't posted in a while.. sometimes life just gets in the way.
I will hopefully be blogging a lot more often from now on.
In my first ever blog post I was pretty blunt and open about my rubbishy situations - a harsh break up being just one of many.
Quite a few people then got in touch with me, mainly girls, saying that they were going through something similar themselves.
I soon found that we were offering each other support and advice and that I suddenly had a small network of girls to talk to - which I haven't really had in the past.
Since I started this blog I have (amongst other things)…
- Made new friends
- Taken up Thai Boxing
- Got a tattoo
- Been invited to a LFW event
- Been to see Bastille play live
- Got a new job in fashion
So, here are my tips for anyone going through a horrible breakup that have kept me from turning into a complete and utter disaster of a person and helped me get on with my life.
1. Read 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. I am only half way through and it is already changing the way I think.
2. 'The Jar Project' takes you out of your comfort zone and focusses completely on your own life and what you want to do or achieve. It also eliminates decision making - don't think, just do.
3. Bake. I'm not encouraging you to eat your feelings or gorge yourself on the sofa till you are sick and fat but I have found that baking can be pretty therapeutic. So far I have baked chocolate chip cookies, lemon bars and brownies - all really easy with a swift sense of achievement and satisfaction. I have also been cooking leek fritters and experimenting with pastas, and salads.
This is also something you can do with your friends and family.
4. Get rid of all remnants and reminders of your previous partner. Get a bin liner and run around chucking in photographs, presents, clothes etc as quickly as possible. Put in the bin or immediately give it to charity and if there are some things that you just can't part with for now, put them away out of sight in your garage or attic.
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5. If you've got the money, reinvent your hair, make up or wardrobe, (or all three). If you're strapped for cash try out new styles - hair, nails, make up, the way you wear your clothes. You can even get a mate round to give you a makeover the way they think you would look best - always interesting even if you hate it.
6. Clean out your wardrobe - give to charity or sell on ebay. It's about quality not quantity and it always makes you feel better afterwards.
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7. Take up something new and preferably something physical. I took up Thai Boxing and loved it. It exercises you physically and mentally and is a great way of releasing aggression. If you haven't got much money, go to the gym or go for a run every morning.
This is always going to make you feel better and your'e also guna get hot. Winwin.
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8. Meet new people. Whether you are on a bus on your own, or out with friends, get talking to anyone and everyone. You will be amazed at how many interesting people you have missed out on knowing because of being in a relationship. A couple of my friends are very good at this and have even gotten jobs through chatting to random people on the train.
9. I would say, don't do anything that is physically or mentally damaging. But. Everybody does this and usually feels a lot better for it afterwards, it's a bit of a failsafe - get really drunk. Go out and go mental. You'll feel crap the next day but probably purged of all your negative energy. I'm not saying do this every weekend but I recon just once or twice is pretty beneficial.
10. Concentrate on you. So I'm guessing you probably had a bit of a life plan set out with your now absent loved one?
Well now is the time to think about you. What do you want? What do you want to achieve? What do you want to experience?
You can be completely 100% selfish and in thinking about this you will probably realise just how much you were willing to sacrifice for this other person and how crazy that would have been. There's no pressure - you don't have to know exactly what you want, the point is there is space, there is time, there is room for YOU. All of you and who you are to express yourself and do and become anything you want.
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11. Download new music and discover new bands - this has been a really good one for me.
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12. Appreciate everything you have, NOW. > Your pet, your Mum, your family, your friends, the roof over your head, the sun, the trees! Everything.
*Disclaimer*
You are not going to feel great every single day. Some days some of these things won't work but at least one of them will.
You are not alone and people go through this all the time all over the world. Everything happens for a reason even though that reason probably won't be clear to you right now. Just keep one foot in front of the other - baby steps.
I would love to hear some of your break up survival tips!
Peace and love.x
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